ROAD TRIP CHRONICLES OF MY FULL-TIME RV LIFE IN AN AIRSTREAM TRAILER

My own personally-crafted cocktails and drink suggestions, with a splash of regional flair and personal anecdote.
Cheers!

 

ALABAMA BLUE BABY BLUE
Mobile, Alabama

For the flightless baby blue jay I took in for the night. In the morning, I put him high up in the tree where his jay fam greeted him like he had risen from the dead. He stayed up in the treetops for days, learning how to fly with his sibs.

2 oz. vodka
.5 oz. Southern Comfort
.5 oz. blue curacao
1 very large strawberry mashed through a sieve (or 2-3 regular-sized ones)
.25 oz. blueberry juice
splash of lime juice
couple dashes or so of Angostura orange bitters

Shake it all up with lots of ice and strain into a martini glass. To get the strawberry through the sieve: Cut it up into small pieces, use a muddler to pound the pieces into a mush (in a bowl), then using a spoon, mash the mush through a sieve.

 

 

 

SNUFFLE WONDER OF LOVE
Brooksvillle, Florida

To celebrate a day of grace and pure wonder and joy, when three manatees said hello while I was paddling on the Chassahowitzka with my brand new take-apart kayak.

Campari
Patron Citronge
Juice from one freshly-squeezed grapefruit
Freshly-squeezed orange Juice

Measurements are not exact for this, because, well, you just can't quantify love. Fill a glass with ice, then fill with 1/4 or so of bitter Campari. Add a little sweet Citronge, then squeeze a grapefruit in and top with fresh-squeezed orange juice. Stir and enjoy the love.

 

 

GATOR BAIT
Sarasota, Florida

Some people think it's not wise to kayak amongst very large alligators. I believed it when the park rangers told me it was safe, and so I went...but not without a worry or two. You may be tempted to have a couple of these right before hittin' the gator-infested waters...I wouldn't recommend it.

1 oz. Rum
1 oz. blackberry liquour
Sweet tea* (that'd be cold)
Lemon juice
garnish with mint

Fill glass with ice. Add ingredients. Adjust amount of sweet tea and lemon juice according to personal taste.

*HOW TO MAKE SWEET TEA: Sprinkle a pinch of baking soda into a pitcher. Pour in two cups boiling water and add 6 tea bags. Cover and steep for 15 minutes. Remove teabags and stir in 3/4 cup sugar, until dissolved. Mix in 6 cups of cool water and refrigerate until cold.

 

 

SWEET TURTLE TOES
Sebring, Florida

The meeting of Harley and Mr. Turtle left Harley feeling somewhat rejected, but that didn't stop him from tasting Mr. Turtle's toes as he ambled on his way.

2 oz. vodka
.75 oz. midori
pineapple juice
splash of lemon juice

Fill a tall glass with ice. Mix it up.

 

 

REDNECK REVENGE
Melbourne Beach, Florida

Oh yeah, it is really really great to have a grassy waterfront campsite where you can put your kayak in anytime you want and go paddling with dolphins and stingrays. Yeah, it IS really great, except when you get loud beer-guzzling neighbors with three screaming young children who don't know any other volume but SCREAMING.

Shot of favorite whiskey
- chased with -
Cheap domestic beer

Repeat as necessary.

 

 

RENEGADE RUMRUNNER
Everglades, Florida

I was sad that the town of Flamingo, deep in the heart of the Everglades, was now a large parking lot, with no signs of the renegade drug-runners and plume hunters of yesteryear...but there IS a waterfront cafe. Mix this up and smuggle it in to keep the legends alive.

1 oz. 151 rum
1 oz. regular rum
1 oz. blackberry liqueur
.5 oz. banana liqueur
2 oz. orange juice
2 oz. pineapple juice
.25 oz. lime juice
.25 oz. lemon juice

Mix on ice.

 

 

 

PAPA'S MOJITO
Florida Keys

In honor of Papa Hemingway who once had a life and a beautiful home in Key West. Apparently he loved this drink and so do I.

2-3 mint leaves
juice from half a lime
1 tsp granulated sugar
2 oz. rum
2 oz. club soda (carbonated water)

Muddle the mint, lime juice and sugar until sugar dissolves. Add ice, rum and club soda. Stir. Garnish with mint.

 

 

DIRTY DOG
Cedar Key, Florida

Deciding to send Harley to daycare was easy...leaving him with a pack of dogs and in the care of people I didn't know was not. It's on days like this that only a dirty martini will do.

3 oz. premium vodka
.5 oz dry vermouth
.25 oz. olive juice

Shaken. Pack the shaker with ice and shake it hard, really hard. Shake it so it hurts to hold it because it's so damn cold (or hold it with a towel). When you pour it, there should be a thin layer of beautiful tiny ice crystals floating on top. Garnish with Divina garlic-stuffed olives, or nothing at all.

 

 

A RIVER RUNS THROUGH IT
New Orleans, Louisiana

Because I found rot in my floorboard from water being where it wasn't supposed to be, and because Miss River was carrying too much water and spilling it where it wasn't supposed to spill. So why not just go ahead and spill some ginger ale where it doesn't need to be too - into an already perfect bourbon, eh? Why not.

3 oz. Basil Hayden
2 oz. ginger ale

Mix with ice in a rocks glass.

 

 

MY OLD KENTUCKY HOME
Bardstown, Kentucky

Pappy Van Winkle's 12 year old lot B*

Place one or two regular-sized ice cubes in a small glass. Pour Pappy's on top. Sip, savor and enjoy being in the place that you are.

Roasted, salted pecans are a nice snack to go along with.

*if you absolutely cannot find Pappy's (because it is so very elusive), Blanton's would be choice #2 and that should be pretty easy to find.

 

 

 

THE RAPTURE
Mobile, Alabama

For May 21, 2011: after all the good godly people have been raptured away and I was still hangin' around with nothing to do.

2 oz. vodka
.5 oz. cointreau
2 oz. pomegranate raspberry juice
splash of lime juice

Shaken, strained into a chilled martini glass.

 

THE SILVER SURPRISE
Jackson Center, Ohio

It's just gotta look good. With the right touch of silver, you've got a winning cocktail....but if you actually drink it in, it'll probably make you sick.

edible silver leaf
variety of cheap alcohol
dash of formaldehyde
generous pour of bitters

Shake it up, pour into a beautiful vessel, and serve to an unsuspecting consumer.

 

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